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Fear

Fear is what is holding me back. I decided to go from hoarder to minimalist a week ago. I have since taken no action toward that. Why? Because I am afraid. A huge component of hoarding is fear and anxiety. I am going to have to let go of that fear in order to let go of my possessions.

What am I afraid of? I am afraid of being alone. I know, that is crazy. I have a family and my hoarding is pushing them away, but “things” seem so comforting.  Since I was a child I have felt alone. I thought once I got married and had children that would somehow fill the void I felt in my life, but I was already so attached to things by then that I didn’t get rid of them to replace it with love of my family. Oh, I do love my family and I feel like they love me, but I don’t trust that love. I have more of a trust for “stuff” than I do for people. This is horrible, I know, but I wanted to be honest with my feelings.

So tonight after dinner I am starting to let go. I will be bagging up our items. The obvious trash will be thrown away, other items will be bagged up and put in a staging area of my house until all nonessential items are bagged and we will all go through them as a family and decide what items we want to give away and what items we want to sell. I am giving myself three weeks to have the house packed up. I MUST get everything in the house packed up in the next three weeks. There will be an update later.

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