RSS Feed

Our Minimalist Life Starts TODAY, Not Tomorrow!

I was really tempted to say, “I will start changing our life/house tomorrow”, but then I remembered my new motto “Tomorrow doesn’t exist, there is only today”. If I put off clearing out our stuff until tomorrow we will be drowning in stuff next year! We are planning on moving in May so this is a perfect time to start clearing everything out. So I started at the coat closet. This is what I have accomplished tonight:

I still have to vacuum up the floor and clear off the top shelf. My husband wanted me to keep his tools in the closet for him, so I boxed them up instead of having them all over the floor. I am very happy with my accomplishments tonight. This is the first time I didn’t stop to plan. I knew that I wanted to bag up all the “good” items until later so that the decision making process won’t slow me down like it has before. I threw out all obvious trash and will make all decisions at the end when every room has been bagged up. I am feeling much better already!

Advertisements

Fear

Fear is what is holding me back. I decided to go from hoarder to minimalist a week ago. I have since taken no action toward that. Why? Because I am afraid. A huge component of hoarding is fear and anxiety. I am going to have to let go of that fear in order to let go of my possessions.

What am I afraid of? I am afraid of being alone. I know, that is crazy. I have a family and my hoarding is pushing them away, but “things” seem so comforting.  Since I was a child I have felt alone. I thought once I got married and had children that would somehow fill the void I felt in my life, but I was already so attached to things by then that I didn’t get rid of them to replace it with love of my family. Oh, I do love my family and I feel like they love me, but I don’t trust that love. I have more of a trust for “stuff” than I do for people. This is horrible, I know, but I wanted to be honest with my feelings.

So tonight after dinner I am starting to let go. I will be bagging up our items. The obvious trash will be thrown away, other items will be bagged up and put in a staging area of my house until all nonessential items are bagged and we will all go through them as a family and decide what items we want to give away and what items we want to sell. I am giving myself three weeks to have the house packed up. I MUST get everything in the house packed up in the next three weeks. There will be an update later.

This is Going to be a Long Journey…

Well after being all gung-ho and writing my Must List on Friday, I continued reading The Minimalists journey to becoming minimalists. One thing that I have come to realize is that if a hoarder is going to become a minimalist it won’t be in 21 days! I am going to be continuing on my journey, but it will be at a slower pace. For instance, my Must List did not become musts in my brain. I am rewriting them and putting them in my Life Binder that I have created. I need to get things more specific and what things I know I must do, not things I think I must do for some generic reason.

Today will be about making my Must List and creating my “End Plan”. I have tried over the years to change, but I was always planning on my journey to the change. One thing that I have found out is that I just need to have an end goal, I don’t need to plan the journey. If I have an end goal, I will reach it and I need to enjoy the process wherever it may take me. I can’t control how I will get somewhere, I can only decide where I want to go and see where the journey takes me.

My Must List

I am going to be completing The Minimalists 21 day journey and today is Day 1: Deciding. The only task for Day 1 is to complete a “Must List”. Here is my first draft of my musts:

  • I MUST go to bed by 9 PM every night.
  • I MUST wake up at 5 AM every morning.
  • I MUST eat healthy food and not junk.
  • I MUST workout every Monday-Friday morning.
  • I MUST spend time in quiet learning every morning.
  • I MUST spend at least an hour outside everyday.
  • I MUST spend 30 minutes of uninterrupted alone time with my husband everyday.
  • I MUST spend 30 minutes teaching each child everyday.
  • I MUST give up unnecessary possessions in order to be free from guilt and anxieties.
  • I MUST blog every Monday-Friday.
  • I MUST be in the moment to experience life fully.
  • I MUST learn something new everyday.
  • I MUST watch less TV.
  • I MUST listen to others when they speak.
  • I MUST rest my mind, body, and spirit one day per week.
  • I MUST show love for others.
  • I MUST complete tasks that I start.
  • I MUST have confidence in myself and my decisions.

This is just my preliminary list and I am sure that they will change over time as my life changes and I narrow down my mission and passions in life.

A Change Must Be Made

Things don’t make you happy. That is my new motto. I get anxieties when I throw things away. It doesn’t make sense, I know, but I feel like if I throw something away I will forget the memory that is attached to that item. I have horrible memory recall and I can’t seem to remember things unless something triggers that memory. That is why I try to hold on to everything that comes into my life. Also, from holding on to the “good” items my brain seems to think that I don’t have to throw away trash objects. I can make something that came in a box and forget to throw away the box. I don’t necessarily have a strong attachment to that empty box, I just don’t think about throwing it away. Needless to say, our house have become unbearable.

If I was single I would still have all this stress about living in an extreme cluttered house, but I am married with two children. This is completely unfair to them. My husband didn’t know I was a hoarder when we got married, honestly I didn’t know I was a hoarder. I have just come to realize this the past few months after I started therapy because I couldn’t seem to be consistent and get my life in order. As wife and mother I have a huge responsibility to make my house a peaceful, comfortable place for my family to create happy memories together. I am currently not doing that.

When I was looking online for the millionth time on how to get my house in order I came across this idea of minimalist living. How many items to we have and purchase that we don’t actually need? What would be important to me (besides the obvious-my family) if I had 1 minute to gather things before my house was destroyed? How many items do we purchase just because we think they might make us happy? I started asking myself these questions and looked more into the concept of minimalist living and it intrigued me. Which brings us to this point in time where I decided to write a blog about my journey from being a hoarder to living minimalist. I hope that others will join me on this journey and gain some true happiness with people, not things, along the way.