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Overwhelm

I had a really bad day yesterday and didn’t even type up a post. I just felt overwhelmed with all the things that I felt like I had to do, so I did none of them. Well, that is not correct I did get a lot written for NaNoWriMo that I just found out about and decided to participate. It is a “competition” of sorts where you write a 50,000 page novel during the month of November. You are supposed to write 1,668 words a day or something like that. It wasn’t as bad as I thought and actually I quite enjoyed it. That is the only thing I got done, though. No, that still isn’t true. I went for a walk with my boys. That is my habit I am practicing this month. Some type of exercise every day.

I am supposed to small goals for myself everyday and also writing down 5 accomplishments, but I haven’t been keeping up with it. I have cycles of my moods. I will do really well for a while and then start feeling depressed and not do anything for a while. When I am at my lowest I won’t even get dressed or go outside for days. I know that this is effecting my children and a few months ago I went to seek help from a therapist. I think it is going pretty well, but I am impatient and want to be “better” already. I know that this is a process and I have to just work on it a day at a time, sometimes a moment at a time. One of my goals it to be more in the moment, so I definitely need to work on that.

I was planning on writing about overwhelm and how it takes control of me, but I think that many people are already aware that this is their problem. So I am going to write about some things that I KNOW help me and also make up some post-it notes to put around the house so I can remind myself of them. First, going outside everyday. I remember growing up my dad would stay inside for days on end with the curtains closed and his sunglasses on. I am a lot like him and when I am feeling low the last thing I want to do is to step outside in the sun. It feels like it is mocking me. “Haha, I am so bright and happy and you’re not”. So I need to remember that going outside is helpful and very beneficial.

Secondly, getting dressed and putting on makeup in the mornings. If I don’t put on makeup then I am having a bad day. I am blessed to have a nice complexion and don’t feel like I need makeup, but if I am feeling happy I will put it on so I am going to be putting on makeup everyday to trick my mind into thinking I am happy on days that I don’t feel that way. Also, along those lines I need to wash my makeup off every night. I have a bad habit of not washing it off and then in the mornings my eyes feel nasty from sleeping with the mascara on. I am sure it probably isn’t very safe either.

My last thing I am going to remind myself to do is to exercise everyday. It releases endorphins and makes me feel better about myself. Also, it makes me healthier so in the long run it makes a HUGE difference. I have a habit of comfort eating when I am depressed and then I get depressed more because I feel fat and unhealthy. When I exercise my body craves healthier foods, so another good reason! Since it is my new habit for the month I think that I will do really well with this one, but I am still putting up a reminder just in case. Hopefully these tips will help someone else who may have the same problems with overwhelm that I do.