I have finally decided to stop fighting it! I have a natural sleep cycle of waking up at 4 AM. I spend the first hour and a half of my day in quiet reflection. I will get up and get my cup of coffee made and then go outside and feed my dog and breath in the fresh air for a few minutes. Then I will get out my bible and journal and spend some quiet time in reading, journaling, and prayer. It really helps me to have a calm spirit throughout the day. Usually I am always agitated and emotionally unstable.
I started my new sleeping/waking routine yesterday and did fantastic. I did pretty well today compared to my slothful days, but my mind was not at peace as much as it was yesterday. I need to learn to be gentle with myself and not say negative things. My feelings were a bit all over the place.
I am still trying to figure out my natural fall asleep time because I have been staying up late-ish still and it is making me a bit tired. Today my 2 year old dunked our two phones in my water cup while I was out of the room and I lashed out with my words at him. So I decided that what we both needed was a nap because he usually acts out more when he is tired and I do as well :) I was planning on taking a 1 hour nap, but it turned into 2 hours. I felt refreshed when I woke up, though, and that was the important part.
I have 6 “themes” that I have for my daily planner. They are the 6 roles in my life. Under each I have A,B,and C written. Every day I write down what needs to be done putting the things that I absolutely need to do that day as an A. I completed all of my A items and also some of my B ones. I will be transferring the items that are left over to tomorrow’s day. This works well for me because the things that I feel are the most pressing or most important won’t get forgotten and I won’t feel bad for not doing the B’s or C’s because the A’s are the ones that I MUST do. I am glad that I have finally found a natural routine that helps me to get done what I need to during the day and also does not make me feel like I am taken advantage of and have no free time.